Arrested Development

Narrator: Previously on Arrested Development:

Lindsey won 10 tickets to go see Gwar in concert.  Lisndey thought it was for the band called War which is an american funk band that started in the late 60s. Gwar, however is a heavy metal band that often cuts of fake limbs and squirts fake blood into the audience.  She however took it to be the band called War just happened to be enough to bring the whole Bluth family.  She only decided to invite them after she realized that she didn’t have that many friends, at which point she convinced herself that this would redeem her many betrayals of her family.  

Lindsey decided to make this event a celebration because she thought it would bring them closer together as a family. So instead of having a free night at a concert

Michael: This is great that you want to do this for the family, but you know, we don’t really have the money for this.

Lindsey: Oh, Michael what do you take me for? I have my own connections and I might have pulled a few strings to get this limousine.

Michael: Oh well that’s great, LIndsey! I’m actually really proud of you for sharing this with us then and not your friends.  What kind of favor did you have to call in in order to get this for free?

Lindsey: Well, last week, I was flirting with this guy standing by a limo and he was so charmed that he gave me his card.  He said he doesn’t give it out to many people though.  It must be a really special limo. But ha free? No no no. We’re paying full price for this.  

Narrator: Lindsey failed to invite her husband, Tobias Fünke, because there were not enough tickets. However she did bring along George Michaels girlfriend, Ann, and gave a symbolic ticket to her dad, George Bluth, who was in prison at the time and could not make it.  Instead the family brought along a cardboard cut out of him and kindly set him up at the bar with a drink.  

*Shot of Gob and Buster at the front*

Narrator: Gob had been plotting how to get on stage to do hie latest magic trick which involved Buster and his lack of a hand.  He was going to cut of Buster’s prosthetic hand in front of the whole crowd and then magically have it reappear.  

Gob: Buster, come on. We’ve got to get to the front.

Buster: Mother says crowds are unsanitary.

Gob: Who cares what mother says.  [talking to himself] Now let’s see. If we jump up over there and run back stage and hide, the guards shouldn’t be able to catch us. But they might try a bit harder once they see my sward. Darn it. I knew it. I should have gone with the knife.  

Buster: Mother told me not to get caught up in the mob. I might get hurt.  

Gob: Oh, would you stop it about Lucile! (their mother)

Narrator: But Buster heard loose seal, the arch nemesis that bit off his hand and he started to panic.  

Buster: Loose seal?! Ah!

Narrator: Buster’s panic began a mosh pit and at first he was scared of the crowd, but then he started to enjoy the rough housing that his mother had never let him join.  

*flash back to time when Gob is beating up Michael as a child*

Lucile: Buster get aways from that! Let them work it out on their own
.
*flash back to time when Lindsey is beating up Michael as a child*

Lucile: Buster, don’t touch them. They’re playing.

*flash back to time when Gob is beating up Michael as adults*

Lucile: Buster! No. Bad.  

Narrator: Buster started having fun.  

Meanwhile, Maeby was sitting at the bar trying to order cocktails while George and his girlfriend Ann danced awkwardly near the corner.  

Maeby: Um, can I get a pina colada please.

Bartender: What are you, like 14?

Maeby: Marry me!

Narrator: Maeby had been working at a film company where they had on record that she was 32. Whenever they questioned her age she would just reply, “Marry me!” which surprisingly worked very well.  It did not work at the bar however.  

Lucile: Oh you old *** just give her a drink. I’ll take two Long Island Iced Teas.  

Bartender: I’ll give you two. But if you let her have one, I’m going to have to throw you out.  

Narrator: Lucile was not enjoying the music very much and even though she still hadn’t visited George Sr. in jail, the cut out of her husband was finally making her start to miss him.  Or at least make her feel guilty about not seeing him.  She went straight to the bar at the beginning of the concert and had not left her seat since.  Her drunken loneliness made her feel some fondness for her granddaughter Maeby.

Gob was getting dangerously close to carrying out his plan.  He actually knew one of the guards who was actually a former magician that Gob sometimes worked with and he had only gotten the job because he needed to pay the band back for a trick that went wrong and cost them their pet tiger.  

Gob: *talking to Buster* Ok so you hold out your hand like this and then I’m going to chop it off with my sward.

Buster: Is that sharp? Let me feel it.

Gob: No. No. Get away. This is not a toy! Ok so I’m going to chop it of and then I’ve put a blood squirting thing underneath so all you need to do it wave your arm around and be like “Oh no! What ever will I do?”

Gob was not happy when he found out that the main band was doing his exact same trick.  And with a lot better effects than Gob had himself.  

Gob: Those bastards.  

*Gob gets on stage in the front, Buster follows behind them. He tries to announce his wonderful magic trick but no one can he him over the roar of the crowd and the screaming music. Gob chops off Buster’s prosthetic hand*

Narrator: But buster often forgets that he’s missing a hand and the sight of it gone again was too much for him.

*Buster screams and security chases them off stage*

Gob: No but you don’t understand! I can put it back on again! That’s the trick! I have to finish the trick!

Narrator: Back at the bar, Kitty, George Sr.’s old secretary who had just gotten breast implants and who is actually a fan of Gwar, had found George Sr.’s cardboard cut out.  Because she refused to wear her glasses out, she thought she had actually found George Sr.  She began to lay down her complaints.  

Kitty: ….and I never got enough appreciation from your family.  Say goodbye to these!

Narrator: As Lucile saw her husband’s old secretary exposing her chest to her cardboard husband, she did something she never thought she’d do.  She fought for her husband.  

*A fight ensues. Maeby runs off with both drinks. Security comes and drags Kitty, Lucile, and Maeby out. They are shortly joined by Gob and Buster who is still screaming*

Michael: Well I guess this outing lasted longer than the last one.  (to George Michael and Ann) Come on, I’ll treat you to a frozen banana at the Banana Stand. It’s on me.

George Michael: I bought all the banana’s in there.

Michael: Well I’ll pay you for them.  Two of them.  

George Michael: (as they are walking out) Are we leaving Pop-pop here?

Michael: Yeah I think he’ll be fine.  

*Last shot is of George Bluth’s cardboard cut out at the bar with many empty glasses around him*